Sunday, February 17, 2013

Reclaiming Myself In Baby Steps

Whoa....can this be real??? Here I am, creating a blog. I have few precious minutes to write this post, as I have three children and a (yet again!) messy house waiting for me upstairs. My husband is preparing to leave for work, and the weight of the day begins to creep up on me...hours and hours of...what?? What can I do today that will make the kids and myself happy?? Yesterday I took them to the Bounce House, a chaotic hot mess of probable germ-ridden children and giant, bouncy blow-up slides and mazes. Nolan and Marina, my two older kids, had a blast, as they usually do, navigating the hordes of kids among the bouncy blow-up thingees. My ten-month old, Ainsley, enjoyed the people-watching experience, hamming it up and playing peek-a-boo with a fellow parent, a father whose child I never actually saw, but who I'm sure was in there...somewhere. And I actually got to have some much-needed adult conversation with the mom of my daughter's BFF at school. A new friend in the making, and the Universe knows I could use more of those. I smile now as I realize this is not the most interesting of blog posts, but for this mom whose personal identity seems to be fading more and more every day, it's a welcome relief. I love my children, I do. I don't regret becoming a mommy. I've gained a massive amount of joy, wisdom, and insight through my motherhood experience. But I feel sometimes that I've lost myself somewhere along the way. This blog is a small yet relevent first step towards re-discovering my own personal unique-ness. I'm sure there are a few "MommyNazis" out there who might deem me selfish for daring to reclaim a small portion of my pre-mommy identity. Fire away...this mommy, wife, aspiring writer, Emetophobic (more on that later), highly sensitive person, freethinker, lover of all things literary, and all-around decent woman knows that this endeavor can only serve to make me a better mom and person. And now, my precious few minutes are up...what will today bring?? Bring it on...I've got my own personal blog now, bitches! :)

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